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Calm Fox Coaching

Clinically Focused Coaching for Individuals, Couples, & Families

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Posted on May 2, 2020May 9, 2020

Hello world!

Welcome to my blog! Once this website is finalized, I’ll start posting things.

Calm Fox Coaching Social Media (Minus Videos)

calmfoxcoaching

Life, Parent, & Outpatient Support Coach
Clinically Focused Coaching to prioritize & model everyday mental health for individuals, couples, & families

Fox (he/him)
#Repost @evolvedteacher (@get_repost) ・・・ Ca #Repost @evolvedteacher (@get_repost) ・・・ Can I share a vulnerable moment with you? In 2009 I experienced the H1N1 Swine Flu pandemic in South Korea. We had to wear masks to school, social distance, and have our kids sanitize their hands regularly. I was a kindergarten teacher then and ... it was hard. My students would cry to see "the smile behind the mask." They wanted to see my mouth move and they would become frustrated and just run and hug each other. I would cry in the bathroom, jump up and down to regain my energy and high vibe, and then return to the classroom to keep the positivity going. It became impossible to keep our students separated and within a week, our students were ripping their masks off and refusing to wear them. This is not to promote fear. Having traveled so much, I have experienced a lot of things and it is often useful to hear an actual lived experience rather than continue to guess. Our current pandemic is much worse than H1N1 and although some schools are beginning to reopen, my personal recommendation is NOT to send your children to school now. (I kept this brief, but if you would like more insight into my experience, ask away. I've experienced 2 of them in Korea. Once in 2009 during H1N1 and again in 2015 during the MERS outbreak.) #weareinthistogether #covid #backtoschool #distancelearning #virtualteaching #backtoschool2020 #school2020 #teachingkids #teachingfromhome #awarenessiskey #blacklivesmatter #teacher #melanin #Black #blm #antiracist #blackteachersmatter #teachersofinstagram #howtoraiseinclusivekids #ally #allyship #diversity #inclusion #consciousparenting #nojusticenopeace #unlearning #emotionalintelligence
As we go into our final days of September in covid As we go into our final days of September in covid world, it's good to check-in with ourselves.⁣ ⁣ What are our expectations for this day, this week, & the month to come? ⁣ ⁣ Was September at all how we wanted it? What of that can we change or maintain in the future? ⁣ ⁣ Realistically, we are all currently experiencing something, unlike anything we have experienced in our lifetimes. Every day is a new day. Every situation, interaction, communication, every chronological landmark is still something we've done before, but this year the context is different.⁣ ⁣ It takes us ten thousand intentional, consistent hours of practice to get to a place where we can consider ourselves an expert on something. That applies when we focus on a task, a behavior, a specific interaction, a skill. It doesn't so much apply to everyday life despite living authentically & sustainably being a skill. Even if it did, the math doesn't line up. No really. I did the math. It doesn't work out. ⁣ ⁣ If we never slept & experienced each & every hour in our 24 hour day, it would take us 417 days to become an expert at living with covid. That's 14 months of literally 0 sleep. When we consider that at least some sleep is needed, the 417 days increases almost by a full year. ⁣ ⁣ When we're chronically experiencing something new, especially something so stressful, in addition to so many other stressors happening nation & worldwide, it's realistic to own that none of us will be at our best. Chances are most of us are just trying to get through, trying to survive, despite that being where most of us were before March 2020.⁣ ⁣ Are we practical with what we hope from our month to come? Were we realistic with the month that is currently ending?⁣ ⁣ Are we trying to accept that every day will feel a little off, & that's ok?⁣ ⁣ Are we allowing ourselves some self-compassion? ⁣ ⁣ Are we realistic about what we can & can't get done/changed?⁣ ⁣ Are we in a place where we can move forward, or do we need to focus on finding a stable footing first?⁣ ⁣ #covid #covidparenting #covidmentalhealth #covidmemes #covidlife #meetyourselfwhereyouare #meetourselveswhereweare #selfcheck #selfcheckin #checkinwithyourself
It's 2020, let's accept that there are better opti It's 2020, let's accept that there are better options than the traditional gold.⁣ ⁣ The Golden Rule is a concept known worldwide. Treat others as you would want them to treat you has been discussed both by Confucious and the King James Bible. Being a Jew from NY, I'm guessing I learned it from my parents or kindergarten?⁣ ⁣ Here's the thing, the Golden Rule is not only outdated but busted. ⁣ ⁣ "Treat others as you would want to be treated by them." It sounds good. It's a concept of universal humanity and being kind to one another. It's also sadly limited in that it's not intersectional. It's vaguely racist, sexist, heterosexist, ableist, classist, and fatphobic.⁣ ⁣ We may all be human beings. But I know for a fact that as a cis, white, heterosexual appearing, able-bodied appearing male, I automatically get treated better than just about everyone else. I can treat others as I want to be treated by them, which comes from the privilege of being treated relatively well by society and institutions. Anti-racism research has also shown that there is more diversity within individual cultural/social subgroups than between them.⁣ ⁣ Treat others as we want to be treated doesn't work because it assumes that everyone wants the same as what we want. It doesn't consider the other person and their differences; it doesn't even get as far as going beyond our nose.⁣ ⁣ Yes, people should treat us as we want to be treated by them. We should also work to treat people as they want to be treated by us. Instead of assuming that everyone falls under the standard, instead of assuming everyone can be treated by everyone else the same way, asking a person's preference honors their individuality and needs.⁣ ⁣ It's a small thing that can make quite a big difference, regardless of age, skin color, gender, sexuality, ability, and weight. ⁣ ⁣ How do you treat others as they want to be treated?⁣ ⁣ How do you maintain your boundaries so people treat you as you want to be treated?⁣ ⁣ #goldenrule #platinumrule #intersectional #intersectionalitymatters #intersectionalparenting #intersectionalfeminism #intersectionality #intersectionalbodypositivity #intersectionalmentalhealth #lifehacks #lifecoaching
From 2012-2020, I worked as an Intensive, In-Home, From 2012-2020, I worked as an Intensive, In-Home, Individual & Family Therapist.⁣ ⁣ The clients I worked with had access to my direct cell & could call whenever needed, especially if they were in crisis or conflict.⁣ ⁣ The clients I worked with had at least two sessions a week, at 2.5 hours a session. In total, the client would frequently receive up to 22ish hours of in-person & phone interaction, plus 3ish hours for speaking with other providers, team meetings, etc.⁣ ⁣ The service rarely lasted more than 15months if it even made it past 9 or 12. Despite the relatively short service length, many who worked with me & my colleagues saw significant progress as long as they engaged.⁣ ⁣ Working in this manner was enlightening because I saw how much a person, family, & household could change when they had significantly more than just an hour a week of support. Moreover, having multiple sessions & the ability to interact with their therapist daily if need be supported the clients in prioritizing their therapy goals daily.⁣ ⁣ We live in a world that does not prioritize our mental health built & maintained by people who didn't/don't understand mental health. ⁣ ⁣ Many of us were raised by parents who did not prioritize our mental health, let alone their own. Many of us have friends, roommates, partners, family, who do not prioritize our mental health or their own.  ⁣ ⁣ Many of us don't have the tools or knowledge to prioritize our mental health alone. Many of us forget our therapy goals and practice the moment we walk out of the therapy room/video call.⁣ ⁣ Do you really feel only 4 hours out of 720 is enough?⁣ ⁣ What would your journey potentially look like if you had more support both in & out of sessions?⁣ ⁣ #therapy #coaching #lifecoaching #parentcoaching #teencoaching #couplescoaching #1hourisntenough #mentalhealthcommunity #mentalhealthcoach #clinicallyfocusedcoaching #outpatientsupportcoaching #realisticexpectations #therapygoals #coachinggoals #changeyourmindset #lifehacks #mentalhealthhacks #meetyourselfwhereyouare
How are your shoulders feeling?⁣ ⁣ Are they te How are your shoulders feeling?⁣ ⁣ Are they tense? Sore? Tired?⁣ ⁣ Unclench. Breathe. Let your shoulders down. They deserve a break. ⁣ ⁣ When was the last time you relaxed your shoulders? The chances are that soreness isn't from a ton of heavy lifting & physical labor, but emotional labor from all the stress & weight you've been carrying around. ⁣ ⁣ We all do it. It's impossible not to. It happens whether or not we're aware of it. That's ok. It doesn't need to be a source of judgment. ⁣ ⁣ It's one of the most common examples of our bodies telling us about all the emotions & stressors we're not acknowledging or actively avoiding. It's one of the most common examples of how mental health is physical health.⁣ ⁣ Many of us hold & carry the weight of others in our relationship with them. A trending term for one version of such at this moment is people-pleasing. This may be a love language, a survival skill, or an aspect of a relationship (caring for a partner, a family member, a coworker, a kid). It may also be self-preservation, the lesser of two evils, or one of many others both healthy & unhealthy.⁣ ⁣ Unfortunately, many of us unintentionally add to & cement this weight by sprinkling on some nice martyrdom. What am I talking about? ⁣ ⁣ The Atlas Complex.⁣ ⁣ Atlas held the weight of the world literally on his tall, broad, titan scale shoulders. These days, many of us attempt to rationalize or shrug off all that fatigue on our shoulders by comparing ourselves to Atlas. With more than a few families I've worked with, I've even heard father & son, mother & daughter, parent & child, use Atlas as a way to validate the heavy burden they're carrying.⁣ ⁣ Sadly, much like many other cliches, myths, & stories, The Atlas Complex is incomplete. It lacks the part where Atlas carried that burden not by choice, care, love language, or support but as a punishment by the Greek gods, who were known to be extremely cruel, spiteful, & petty.⁣ ⁣ Before you rationalize all the weight you're carrying for others, can you ask yourself if they even aware of how you're punishing yourself for them? ⁣ ⁣ Is the punishment even really in support of them or just maintaining what you know?
I recently was asked what I expected someone to ge I recently was asked what I expected someone to get out of a 45minute free consult. ⁣ ⁣ Not all providers offer free consults. I offer 45-minute complimentary consults because I believe significantly shorter isn't long enough to net all the benefits in the post above and below.⁣ ⁣ What doesn't change, though, is the lack of discussion about such an essential appointment type.⁣ ⁣ While it's easy to assume that a free consult is just a sales pitch, it can be an essential part of finding a mental health provider that we feel a connection &/or safety.⁣ ⁣ First and foremost, mental health providers are people we hopefully feel safe/comfortable working with and paying. Having to pay only to find out there isn't a connection is backward; it's also inaccessible & not sustainable to those already on a tight budget.⁣ ⁣ Forty-five minutes is not enough time to significantly get to know a provider. Nor is 45 minutes enough time to effectively reach any significant fix or change. However, a 45-minute consult with the right provider can still have numerous benefits.⁣ ⁣ I am also a strong believer that if someone signs up for a consult, it's my job to try and support them as they're open to, even if we don't end up working together. That means that at the end of the 45 minutes, even if I'm not the right provider, part of my role is to offer input on who may be more appropriate if the person I'm speaking to is open to that.⁣ ⁣ Have you ever had a really positive experience with a provider you met through a free consult?⁣ ⁣ Have you ever had a negative experience with a mental health provider that could've been avoided by having a free consult ahead of time?⁣ ⁣ #mentalhealthawarenesmonth #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthwarrior #wellnessjourney #wellnesscoaching #wellnesscoach #mentalhealthcommunity #mentalhealthcoaching #freeconsultation #freeconsultations #affordablementalhealth #affordablecoaching #sustainablecoaching #slidingfeescale #slidingfee #connectioniskey #meetyouwhereyouare #honorpronouns #preferredpronouns #validation #compassion #compassionateparenting #parentingishard #parentcoach
#Repost @ihartericka (@get_repost) ・・・ And t #Repost @ihartericka (@get_repost) ・・・ And that’s on period. Repost @munroebergdorf via @teachmrreed
It doesn't matter how good it could be.⁣ It does It doesn't matter how good it could be.⁣ It doesn't matter how much we want it.⁣ It doesn't matter how much we need it.⁣ ⁣ We all talk about self-care these days while often not discussing the needed reminder that intention, wants, & needs are all well & good. Still, they do best & are most accessible &sustainable with realistic expectations. ⁣ ⁣ Realistic expectations require acceptance of reality. Reality, unfortunately, includes limits. Whether these limits are placed on us by others, put on us for ourselves, or placed on us by our bodies or minds, most of us don't like limits. Many of us don't even like reality because it includes limits.⁣ ⁣ Regardless of what our goals may be, if we're ignoring our limits, chances are we're hindering ourselves more than we want to admit. Some limits we avoid because we want to set them but don't feel comfortable. Some limitations we ignore because we don't agree with the person or their reasoning for setting the limit. We challenge & attempt to push through some limitations because we don't like the lack of control & discomfort that comes with them.⁣ ⁣ If we're not acknowledging &interacting with our limits beyond ignore, avoid, & push through, we're not meeting ourselves where we are. If we're not meeting ourselves where we are, we're not doing our best for ourselves regardless of what type of self-care we practice. This is applicable for individual adults, coparents, couples, adolescents, & teens. Limitations are a daily part of life in almost every context.⁣ ⁣ What limitations do you tend to ignore?⁣ ⁣ What would be different if you could accept some of those limitations & work with them as part of your reality instead of avoiding?⁣ ⁣ #boundaries #healthyboundaries #realtalk #friendlyreminder #friendlyreminders #lifehacks #parentinglife #parentinghacks #parentingishard #personalgoals #personallimits #selfwork #selfcare #acceptance #personalacceptance #selfcompassion #parentselfcare #beyourself #meetyourselfwhereyouare #selfacceptance #chronicillness #chronicpain #parentingteens #parentingtips #fibromyalgia
We all know it's 42. Post Done! ⁣ ⁣ Ok, not re We all know it's 42. Post Done! ⁣ ⁣ Ok, not really. ⁣ ⁣ This post could have empirical data, lived experience, tons of trial & error with peer-reviewed precision & accuracy, in addition to whatever current trend, fad, or new science/magic we're currently exploring in our free time. ⁣ ⁣ This post could literally have directly come from whatever spiritual or religious practices you pay any attention to, complete with signatures of approval/corroboration from every other religious/spiritual/scientific way on earth. Irrefutable proof.⁣ ⁣ None of it would matter if one specific single thing weren't in alignment.⁣ ⁣ You.⁣ ⁣ We get out what we put in.⁣ ⁣ What we put in is dependant on what we're open to considering, hearing, pondering, growing, accepting.⁣ ⁣ Outside of what we cannot control, everything is dependant on what we're open to allowing as a possibility.⁣ ⁣ The only guidance, advice, education, input that will work is what we're open to allowing to work from meditation and self-work, to behavioral change in kids & family structure, to friends and intimate relationship goals.⁣ ⁣ What are you open to allowing to work?⁣ ⁣ What do you know you're not willing to consider?⁣ ⁣ How flexible are you in those answers?⁣ ⁣ #ifwereopentoit #ifyoureopentoit #meetyourselfwhereyouare #meetourselveswhereweare #selfawareness #mindfulness #selfwork #putinwhatyouwantout #selfgrowth #realisticexpectations #mentalhealthawarenesmonth #lifecoachingtips #parentcoaching #parentinglife #parenthacks #lifehacks #42 #hitchhikersguidetothegalaxy #theanswer #DONTPANIC
We've all experienced grief & loss before. We've a We've all experienced grief & loss before. We've all been experiencing additional grief & loss over the last 6 months during covid. ⁣ ⁣ This week, my wife & I, had to experience some of our own unexpected additional grief & loss as we said goodbye to our family pet, Persephone. I have no issue admitting I've sobbed, wept, & stomped my feet in anger. We also have family & friends going through similar experiences processes.⁣ ⁣ While the significance & intensity vary, the experiences of loss & grief are universal. Comparing one person's loss to another is like trying to compare trauma.  It's not helpful. In remembering this, maybe we can even use this shared humanity to connect with our own selves & our supports.⁣ ⁣ Most of us struggle in processing, communicating, & accepting our own feelings of grief. The loss is often out of our control & often spurs a sense of discomfort which impacts our response. This is particularly backward as it results in us avoiding, judging, blaming, & lashing out or lashing inward, when we're already at our most hurt & alone. We can also feel discomfort in response to the grief of others which makes it much harder to support them.⁣ ⁣ How we experience our own grief & loss, how we interact with the grief & loss of others, are impacted by our own self-compassion & emotional intelligence. The discomfort that comes with loss is very good at convincing us that we are alone, out of control, & hurt. This often puts us on autopilot & in doing so actually extends & increases the discomfort. (Misery loves company)⁣ ⁣ In these moments, authenticity & self-compassion make all the difference. They allow us to better sit in our experience &  move through our grief. In doing so, remember, emotions have energy. At some point, we all need to vent that energy in whatever way works for us, or else we burst. Beating ourselves up for having those emotions, doesn't make it easier. Insisting on pushing through or manning up is often inauthentic.⁣ ⁣ To those currently grieving, you are not alone.⁣ ⁣ To those supporting someone grieving, thank you for holding that space for them. You are not alone. I hope you are receiving support as well.
The moment I sit down on that couch, all hope is l The moment I sit down on that couch, all hope is lost. My only shot is dependant on having enough time to rest & recuperate in that moment/day so I can then re-initiate momentum.⁣ ⁣ It doesn't matter what big goals I have. It doesn't matter what I need done before tomorrow. ⁣ ⁣ If I allow myself to sit down after going & going, I'm done. My momentum drops hard to 0 after being on high all day, & the couch is where I live now. I might as well just go all-in & finish with the classic 'I'll do it early in the morning' (knowing full well that I likely won't get up early & instead will rush to do it whenever I do get up, potentially impacting the rest of my tomorrow)⁣ ⁣ Our momentum when looked at from a distance is data. ⁣ ⁣ Data on how we pace ourselves, proactively/reactively plan, allow for flexibility, complete tasks, live our day to day life, & take care of our body, mind, & emotions. As such, our momentum is both a blessing & a curse, especially when we don't pay attention to it.⁣ ⁣ Do you track your momentum or do you get pulled along by it?⁣ ⁣ How do you decide when to maintain momentum versus when to rest?⁣ ⁣ What does your current momentum say to you?⁣ ⁣ How does momentum impact the emotions, communication, & task completion of those around you? How does that impact your relationship with them?⁣ ⁣ #physicsmemes #physicsisfun #physicshumor #physicslove #parentingishard #parenthacks #parentingmemes #parentinghacks #parentinghumor #parentingteens #parentingtips #lifecoaching #lifehack #mindfulness #selfwork #motivation #motivationalmemes
Much of this applies to those of us without kid(s) Much of this applies to those of us without kid(s) & partner(s) as well.⁣ ⁣ As we end the month of August, as we begin a new school year for the first time during a major global pandemic, it's important as parents that we take a moment to recount what we're currently dealing with. ⁣ ⁣ By looking at the big picture, we can be realistic in what we're facing to set ourselves & our families up for whatever our best may look like.⁣ ⁣ It takes 10,000 intentional hours of consistent practice & learning for someone to consider themselves an expert in something. That's really hard to do when we're trying to manage 10 different large & complex somethings.⁣ ⁣ That's even harder to do when we've never been here before & the entire landscape is not only new but changing every day.⁣ ⁣ That's even harder when we can't even remember what day it is, let alone everything else we deal with. ⁣ ⁣ As a Life Coach & Parent Coach, the best I can recommend is:⁣ * Do your best⁣ * Prioritize mental, physical, & emotional health⁣ * Be realistic & every so often double check the big picture⁣ * Be compassionate with yourself & those around you. ⁣ ⁣ We're all going to make mistakes. Those mistakes are not failures on our part, but chances to learn how to do better in our current reality.⁣ ⁣ Remember, you're not alone & none of us are perfect. ⁣ ⁣ The Hashtags #covıd #covid #covi̇d19 #mindfulness #parentingishard #parentmindfulness #consciousparenting #parenttips #covidparenting #parentselfcare #compassionateliving #compassionateparenting #parenthacks #coparenting #covidcoaching #parentcoaching #lifecoachingtips #selfcompassion #realitycheck #realisticexpectations
#Repost @childmindinstitute (@get_repost) ・・・ We’re thankful to @Instagram for providing access to their new ‘guides’ feature, so we can bring you regular in-depth resources from our team at childmind.org. ⁣ ⁣ You can find the first guide - “Racism and Violence: How to Help Kids Handle the News” - by heading to our profile and tapping the Guides tab. ⁣ ⁣ It also gives us the opportunity to feature some amazing artists:⁣ - @loveless_designs (cover art)⁣ - @wildsuga⁣ - @artsyaffirmations⁣ - @nouriflayhan⁣ - @mongequentin⁣ - @salouazine.illustrates⁣ - @abbey_lossing⁣ - @tobehonestnl⁣ - @jane_mount #intersectionalitymatters #intersectionalparenting #kidsandracism #Antiracism #Antiracist #antiracistparenting #antiracistkids #socialjustice #parentingishard #parentingtips #parentinghacks #parentproblems #teachantiracism #kidsmentalhealth #blmmovement #intentionalparenting #familymentalhealth
When was the last time you checked in with yoursel When was the last time you checked in with yourself?⁣ ⁣ When was the last time you intentionally prioritized just 1 minute to look around, meet yourself where you are, as you are, & act with intention from that place?⁣ ⁣ It's so easy to get tunnel vision these days. ⁣ It's so easy to get stuck on autopilot & completely unaware or in a sneaky hate spiral, & suddenly you're out of time, energy, & spoons. Plus you may not even be aware of it or how you got there. ⁣ ⁣ When it's easier (more likely) not to be centered because everything is on fire & there's no time, it's hard to figure out how to slow down even for that 60 seconds to check in with ourself & see what is actually needed, to be better supported, grounded, authentic, intentional, & on track.⁣ ⁣ If you're already saying "I just need to schedule better" or "I just need to do that one thing that I've said I can totally do but am yet to actually accomplish more than once when I was actually already in a good mood", that's another post. TLDR, it's just not that simple.⁣ ⁣ If you don't know where you are or how to check-in, start small. Start with the basics, what is easiest to grab onto, easiest to remember.⁣ ⁣ For example, Vowel Check! ⁣ A,E,I,O,U,Y. Each can have its own meaning. This is a check-in that is family-friendly, good for kids, good for adults, gives an overall (holistic) view of current data & context.⁣ ⁣ A: Action & Avoidance: ⁣ What are you dealing with?⁣ What can you act on?⁣ What are you avoiding?⁣ ⁣ E: Eating, Drinking, & Exercise⁣ Have you met your base biological needs?⁣ This also includes rest, physical touch, shelter, clothing/body safety, but those aren't vowels.⁣ ⁣ I: Introspection⁣ Check your own self-care & awareness.⁣ ⁣ O: awareness & compassion for Others⁣ Being part of something bigger than ourselves ⁣ ⁣ U: Unexpressed or Unidentified emotions⁣ More awareness of anything hidden or blocked ⁣ ⁣ Y: Yup (acceptance), Yeah (excitement), Yay (joy)⁣ End with a positive, acceptance, or hope⁣ ⁣
I promise this is 1 of few times I will subject yo I promise this is 1 of few times I will subject you to math.⁣ ⁣ There are 1440 minutes per day. ⁣ ⁣ The average workday is reportedly 480 minutes (8hours). That isn't changing (post on archaic 40-hour workweek to come later). Also, I feel like many 40 hours a week jobs are closer to 45-60, & many part-time jobs are usually closer to 35-39.5.⁣ ⁣ The average adult constantly & consistently needs 420-540 minutes (7-9 hours) of sleep per night. ⁣ ⁣ The average adult is chronically lacking sleep. Especially if they're a parent. Especially if they have a job. Especially if they have a chronic illness &/or mental health diagnosis. Especially if they live in poverty. Funny how all those things make us tired while also hindering healthy sleep. As a result, the average adult is constantly wishing they had more time in the day & more time for themselves.⁣ ⁣ When we subtract preferable max (often less) 540 minutes of sleep with preferable max (often more) 480 minutes of work, we're left with 420 minutes (7 hours) to the day.⁣ ⁣ Of those 420 minutes, we spend 60+ minutes commuting/transferring to/from work even if we work from home.⁣ ⁣ Of those 360 minutes, we need to eat at least one if not two meals, manage our daily hygiene/chores or catch up on days we've already missed. Let's say that's another 60+ minutes.⁣ ⁣ That leaves us with a total max of 240 minutes (4 hours) in our day assuming EVERYTHING else goes smoothly & on time. How often does that ever actually happen?⁣ ⁣ We live in a world that prioritizes paying bills & keeping a job over daily functioning & mental/emotional health. As many of us cannot change our work situation & we're already lacking sleep, we need to be strategic if we want any positive outcomes with what little time we have.⁣ ⁣ 240 minutes is not a lot, especially when we're underfed, overworked, lacking sleep, & overwhelmed. If we aren't intentional with that limited time, we often waste it & then fall further behind the next day.⁣ ⁣ When looking at your day how much time do you block off for⁣ ⁣ Non-work relationships?⁣ Creativity? Learning & growing?⁣ Self-care?⁣ Staying organized?⁣ Flextime/recovery for when shit happens?⁣ ⁣ Do you plan at all?
Friends! Help me spread the word! ⁣ ⁣ Earlier Friends! Help me spread the word! ⁣ ⁣ Earlier this week, I received an unexpected message & donation from a friend. They recently have been finding some extra in their budget & wanted to give what they could to those who could benefit from some extra support for their mental & emotional health.⁣ ⁣ Half of the donation covered two additional sessions and time for a current client family in need of extra support. The remaining half is being set as the prize for a free raffle. While there is no cost for entry, it is only open to BIPOC &/or LGBTQIA+ individuals, couples, & families. If this does not apply to you, please consider sharing this post anyway as you likely know someone who could enter.⁣ ⁣ All you need to do to enter is comment or DM before 11:59pm EDT on Friday, July 17th so I can follow up with you should you win. ⁣ ⁣ The Winner of the Raffle Will Be Allowed to Pick One of the Three Options:⁣ ⁣ 1- A prepaid 2 hour personalized intensive via Zoom with follow-through resources provided after.⁣ ⁣ 2- Two prepaid coaching/support calls of 60 minutes each with follow-through resources provided later.⁣ ⁣ 3-A $100 payment sent directly to the BIPOC/LGBTQIA+/non-male therapist/coach of your choice if you would rather work with them.⁣ ⁣ I am more than happy to include a free hour consult via video for the winner to decide if they feel comfortable working with me or would like me to transfer the funds to another provider. #raffle #raffleprize #donation #lifecoach #relationshipcoach #parentcoach #teencoach #mentalhealthcoach #mentalhealth #blackmentalhealth #blackmentalhealthmatters #lgbt #lgbtqiaplus #lgbtqfamily #lgbtqsupport #randomactofkindness #payitforward #intersectional #intersectionalitymatters #sexpositive
I saw the 1st part posted the other day. Afterward I saw the 1st part posted the other day. Afterward, I added fine print.⁣ ⁣ The original phrase rings of individualism & meritocracy. Concepts stating each individual is entirely unique regardless of context, & each individual, regardless of everything, can be successful if they just work hard enough.⁣ ⁣ A pandemic doesn't leave us stronger.  ⁣ ⁣ System racism & all the isms connected to White Supremacy, don't even value life, let alone strength. Those systems exist to stop specific groups of people from being stronger.⁣ ⁣ The phrase was originally written by White, German, Cis Male, Philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche; known for his thoughts on Judeo Christian religion & concepts of the Übermensch, the death of God, the inexistence of free will, & nihilism. The phrase speaks of resilience after suffering & is almost always shared out of context & incomplete⁣ ⁣ "Out of life’s school of war—what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger." it's not that suffering leads to strength & resilience; but that suffering can provide an opportunity to grow- specifically for those strong enough to do the work.⁣ ⁣ Our strength allows us to process, accept help, heal, & grow beyond what doesn't kill us. That then gives us strength & resilience through & after if we're consistent.⁣ ⁣ What doesn't kill us, 𝗖𝗮𝗻 make us stronger with lots of work. Necessity breeds innovation & we only learn so much when we're content. The work requires strength. That strength comes from concepts that society conditions us to avoid. Authenticity. Vulnerability. Accepting limits, differences, failures, & compassion for one another. ⁣ ⁣ Denying authenticity & vulnerability, denying our shared experiences & connections not only hurts & limits us but reinforces the isms. Racism, sexism, classism, ableism, & homophobia & islamophobia.⁣ ⁣ Sharing authenticity & vulnerability of lived experiences & the resulting growth with those we trust, is part of how we connect & grow as people. This applies to adults in social/romantic relationships, parents/children, clinicians/clients, & even our relationships with ourselves.⁣ ⁣ If comfortable, how have you grown as a result of working through what hasn't killed you?
Many of us live in a world of scarcity. We're alwa Many of us live in a world of scarcity. We're always trying to save that extra penny. We're always told to do more with less. We're always trying to find a side hustle, or the next project, or just even staying productive because it's connected to our sense of self-worth.⁣ ⁣ Now more than ever, as the world experiences collective trauma & we all spend a little more time considering health & risk profiles, it's important to intentionally slow down, & check-in with ourselves. Now, I realize that some may read this & feel like it's just a bunch of silly feelings nonsense. But really, take a moment & think.⁣ ⁣ When was the last time you actually put down all the things, closed the mental browser tabs, & allowed yourself to just exist in your body without expectations or plans? ⁣ ⁣ When was the last time you gave yourself just a little space from everything else, even if only for a few minutes?⁣ ⁣ When we don't monitor our physical selves, our somatic selves, it's easy for everyday life to get overwhelming & even get stuck somewhere in our body. This can result in everything from stomach & headaches to dizziness, chronic pain, sexual dysfunction, & a long list of mental-health-related diagnoses & mood changes.⁣ ⁣ You've likely had someone tell you to focus on your breathing, & it didn't work. That happens a lot. Box Breathing is a technique used by everyone from Yogi's & Therapists, to Special Forces & Professional Athletes. They use it because when done properly, it forces your body to naturally slow down, decreasing adrenaline & other neurochemicals. By intentionally breathing in a way that your body would only do if relaxed & not in crisis, you force the body & mind to slow down along with your breathing. That said, you still have to be open to it working for it to have a noticed effect, & you want to repeat for at least 2-3 minutes.⁣ ⁣ When we're overwhelmed & dealing with a lot it's also really easy to lose track of what is going on both in our body & our mind. Taking a few seconds to focus on the senses with a quick & easy count down, can do wonders for slowing ourselves down & taking stock of where we are in our body.⁣ ⁣ When did you last slow down & check in?
#Repost @estherbmft (@get_repost) ・・・ Happy #Repost @estherbmft (@get_repost) ・・・ Happy Friday!! And Happy #bipocmentalhealthawarenessmonth / #minoritymentalhealthawarenessmonth Celebrating, understanding, and improving access to mental health among a range of races and cultures is one of the most important responsibilities of my field right now. It’s time to move from general competency to a more nuanced appreciation and understanding of how culture and race provide context for the healing work we do. Join @therapyisnotadirtyword and I as we share information and offer events all month long to invite more conversation about me yak health within BIPOC communities (Side note- have questions or thoughts about the use of BIPOC vs. Minority? Swipe to read more and share your opinions below)
It may contradict itself twice, but it's easy for It may contradict itself twice, but it's easy for adolescents, teens, & adults alike to remember.⁣ ⁣ Always Remember, to Never use...Always & Never.⁣ ⁣ When we're dealing with strong emotions, intense situations, repeating conflict, or even the daily foreboding during a pandemic, it's easy for us to focus on the polar ends. They're the most. They're the biggest. They're the strongest in alignment with our immediate feelings. Thus, they're the easiest for us to grasp & hold onto when we're caught up in the moment. That also, unfortunately, means that we may very well use them when they don't apply.⁣ ⁣ Realistically, we live in a world of consistent change. People are constantly, naturally, unconsciously changing unless they are constantly intentionally resisting change. It's unavoidable. There are very few things, very few behavioral &/or conflict patterns that are so consistent they, 100% always or 100% never maintain. ⁣ ⁣ Due to Always & Never rarely being 100% accurate, the only one that really benefits from their usage in speech is the conflict itself. By choosing always or never, we're breaking down complex human behaviors and situations into good/bad, yes/no, all/nothing. In a battle of the binary, the only winner is the conflict. This includes partners, parents, and even our own internal debates, uncertainty, and spiraling-&-stewing aka perseverating.⁣ ⁣ Do you really 𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 allow your kiddo to have/do anything they want?⁣ ⁣ Does your partner 𝘈𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 do that exact specific annoying thing every single time? Or just most of the time?⁣ ⁣ I'm sorry you're blaming yourself for a recent disappointment. Do you really 𝘈𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 blow it for yourself like that?⁣ ⁣ Finally, for those who do still hear Always & Never frequently used, pay more attention to when & why. Chances are, they may not be 100% accurate, but if they are really very frequent, they're probably good indicators of where the focus is.⁣ ⁣ Important note: There are exceptions. This post is not an excuse for you to start gaslighting others by challenging their reality mid conflict. This post is to encourage you to consider yourself & your interactions to discuss in a collaborative way.
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Clinically Focused Coaching

Providing online & in-the-moment coaching via text, video, & phone. Meeting you where you are, as you are. When it works for you. Without judgment.

Combining intersectional clinical mental health knowledge & a holistic/wrap-around approach with in-home crisis management experience to assist clients & client families in working toward their goals, their best selves, & best lives.

Intersectional support looks different for each of us. We all deserve support we can afford & support that helps us feel seen & safe. Let’s talk about what would feel realistic, supportive, & sustainable for you.

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